What happens if someone does not follow the guidelines?

As long as you’re not using SF12, you don’t need to worry, as other spreading factors can still be received just fine.

As for your other points: see LoRaWAN duty cycle abuse.

Unless private networks use a different frequency plan, everyone is sharing the same radio spectrum. So adding gateways to a shared network such as TTN is better, as then more nodes will have a gateway close by and can decrease their transmission power.